Why Many Marriages Fail – Expecting Too Much and Not Trying Hard Enough

It is not necessary to be a keen observer of the social scene to realize that the marital relationship as we know it is floundering and, in many cases, sinking. The divorce rate is astronomical and shows no sign of slowing down. Intelligent and experienced people rush into matrimony with the loftiest expectations only to file for a divorce less than a year after pronouncing vows of fidelity. I know of one lovely young couple that seemed to have everything going for them: sharpness of intellect, warmth of heart, willingness to make a commitment, and even idealism. Yet hardly had they settled into their life together when the husband wanted out. “It’s not what I expected,” he declared. Unfortunately, his reaction is not the exception that proves the rule. It has occurred again, and again, and again.
What is wrong with all these people? Part of the problem may be the fierce individualism, even selfishness that our society has instilled in the younger generations. The minute there is a conflict, the reaction is often: “I don’t have to take your crap any more. I’ll be better off alone.”Young adults are no longer restrained by the stigma of divorce. Divorce is now so common that it has become a fact of life. In the past, married couples plagued with all kinds of unresolved tensions would simply sweep them under the carpet and continue making do. Now people just close the door behind them, seek out new partners, and often go through the same cycle again, having learned nothing.
Another reason for the divorce rate, I believe, is exaggerated expectations. Younger generations have grown up with frozen food, a boon to harried homemakers but hardly the epitome of haute cuisine. When in a hurry, you just pull out a ready-made dinner from the freezer, shove it into the oven at the designated temperature, and in less than an hour you have a ready-to-eat meal. Unfortunately, too many young adults tend to view human relations in this way. If an experience does not provide them with instant gratification, then it is unsatisfactory. They will view their marriage as a failure. It rarely occurs to them that dealing with another individual implies all kinds of complex issues. Life simply can’t be reduced to the size of a dinner gulped down in front of a TV screen. Building human relations takes time and effort. If you are unwilling to invest your energy into them, you will ultimately be left with nothing but disappointments.
But even when newly married couples try sincerely to see beyond the mirage of instant gratification, they can fall victims to another deadly illusion: the belief that two unhappy solitudes will constitute one plenitude. A commentator on the Discomfort Zone website said it in another way: “My observation of most marriages (or inseparable couples in general): two people stubbornly believing in the mathematical formula that two minus give one plus.” Too many young adults believe that simply by linking their destiny with another human being to whom they may feel attracted will automatically bring them fulfillment.
Obviously, their multiple hang-ups will not be dissolved magically through marriage. On the contrary, there is every reason to believe that their problems will be compounded. Many married couples are bogged down in this dilemma and, of course, their relationships go down the drain. Their illusions about being married are their blind spot and, not being able to foresee what is in store for them, they head right into a wall.

The Perfect Gift In A Courtship

What is the best kind of gift to give when your courting someone? Firstly, what is courting? Well, according to professionals, courting or courtship is traditional dating period before engagement and marriage. During a courtship, a couple dates to get to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement. Usually courtship is a public affair, done in public and with family approval. Today’s practice of courtship is usually done for fun, unlike in earlier centuries where young adults were expected to court with the intention of finding a marriage partner, rather than for social reasons. But question still remains, what kind of Gifts Philippines is the best when courting someone? read more

How to Choose a Band For Your Wedding

When you begin to consider wedding bands for the big day, certain aspects of the music ought to come to mind. Should the music of the wedding bands under consideration be exclusively geared toward the tastes of the bride and groom, or should the enjoyment of most or all of those in attendance also be taken into account?

Certainly, a celebration as grand as one’s own wedding ought to be enjoyed by most of those at the event, and wedding bands considered for the primary entertainment would, in a best case scenario, appeal to the majority of attendees. While there are what could be called “variety bands,” that play a mix of several styles of music, at least some of the styles performed will likely not sit well with everyone.

One style, however, that appeals to virtually everyone involved in any type of celebration is that of Caribbean music. It is both fun and laid-back at the same time, and can really be the perfect backdrop for any event involving a wide range of audience types or age groups. Caribbean music can be enjoyed in the background while attendees socialize because of its laid back nature, or danced to because of the highly catchy beats. Wedding bands that perform Caribbean reggae and calypso music are possibly a top consideration for such a formidable event as a wedding.

In this regard, when it comes to Caribbean music, it’s probably good to have a band that plays more than just reggae. While reggae is certainly the most famous of the island beats, who could deny the appeal of “Are you feeling Hot Hot Hot” soca music?! As this beat grew from its origins in the island of Trinidad and was made famous by Harry Belefonte, calypso music, as it’s said, got an injection of soul; and, taking the ‘so’ from soul, and the ‘ca’ from calypso, became soca music! This infectious beat is a sure bet to get everyone in attendance thinking about conga lines or limbo contests but, in every case, thinking of fun!

A band that it known for keeping the Caribbean vibe going throughout their performances is the band, Irie Time. (The word “Irie”, pronounced “eye-ree”, is the Jamaican patois word for “feeling great”!) The group has been performing at weddings, as well as a wide variety of events, from international concerts to intimate receptions, for over a decade. The virtuoso musicians of which the band consists are highly experienced, and are able to ‘read’ an audience and play directly to each stage of an evening’s event. Typically, in a wedding reception environment, Irie Time will start out easy, playing jazzy instrumental and steel pan music as guests arrive and begin socializing. Then, as the night goes on and attendees get ready to party, Irie Time knows how to ‘kick it up a notch’ and get the dance floor filled with people ready to let loose and enjoy themselves.

Irie Time is noted for playing updated versions of popular island cover songs, like “Day-O”, Bob Marley songs or, of course, “Hot Hot Hot(!)”, while mixing in their acclaimed original compositions from their own CD releases. Excerpts from their albums can be heard on-line at their website under the ‘Downloads’ tab. They also have an on-line demo that can be accessed upon request, which features their outstanding instrumental and steel pan music, a number of their island cover songs and, of course, their latest CD track excerpts. Email them under the Contacts tab on their website for more information.

The celebration of your wedding is something you’ll want everyone to remember as the most enjoyable and exciting event in memory. The outstanding, and even inspiring, musicians in Irie Time will be something your friends and family will marvel at, and will recount with admiration for years to come. As many people recognize, events can only be as good as their entertainment, and Irie Time is the best of the best. Check out a recent fan video of the group performing live at their website.


Zen Sterling has followed the band IRIE TIME for nearly a decade. The group performs Caribbean Reggae and Soca music. For more information, go to http://www.IRIETIME.com or phone 713-398-3798. (See also http://www.irietime.com/downloads.htm, http://www.irietime.com/video.htm, and http://www.irietime.com/contact.htm.) Irie!!