There are many reasons why people get divorced. This article explores some of the most common reasons that cause the end of a marriage.

ADULTERY

It will come as no surprise that adultery is an extremely common reason for divorce. However, research shows that many people are willing to forgive someone for cheating once. If the behaviour is common though, that often spells the end of a marriage. Adultery results in a lack of trust within a relationship. read more

How to keep him interested? 4 top ways to make your husband happy!

This is without doubt amongst the top marriage counseling questions. The natural course of a marriage is rarely a smooth one. Under the pressure of daily life, we often take marriage and our spouse for granted. But the truth is that for a marriage to be healthy and happy, we need to keep working at it. In fact, you are as much responsible for the happiness of you spouse as you are of your own.
So how can you keep the momentum going and ensure that your nearest and dearest feels happy and fulfilled in your marriage.
1. Respect, respect and more respect
Without respect, there can be no happy marriage. Our society has changed tremendously in the last 30 years and the empowerment of women is very much prevalent in the western world. Men on the other hand have progressively been allowed to show their sensitive side. However, being in touch with one’s emotion should not be confused with being ―wimpy. Shredding your man’s ego to bits won’t make for a happy marriage. Don’t criticize him in front of others and don’t put him down in front of your children. If you disagree with him, try to do it privately.
A quiet man will fall into his own bubble of self-pity, but a more aggressive one won’t let you get away with humiliating him and consequently your marriage can rapidly descend into a war zone where arguments and fights are your weapons.
Before hurling abuse at your partner, try to remind yourself of his good points so that an argument can be prevented.
Constant nagging is another form of disrespect. For example, if your husband is struggling to find employment, instead of harassing him about the lack of finance in the household, help him to find for work.
2. Appreciate him
Learn to accept him for who he is—his unique characteristics, his quirkiness and interests. Once the marital ring is placed on their finger, many women set out to change their husbands for what they think is for the better. Why marrying him in the first place if you were so unhappy with his personality? Would you like your husband to change who you are and fix what he perceives as being your character’s imperfections?
Don’t focus on what he is not doing right, but instead concentrate on the positives. If he doesn’t do the housework to your exact standard you should appreciate that he is lending you a hand and probably doing his best.
3. Give him space
In a healthy marriage, spouses give each other space. Although this might be easier said than done, you should get used to your husband spending time with his friends without you. When he is out enjoying himself with his buddies, resist the urges to constantly phone him – he won’t appreciate that you are checking on him!
4. Don’t neglect your sex life
Sex plays an important part in your marriage: it helps to keep you connected to your spouse. Don’t be afraid to talk about sex with your husband. Tell each other what you like and what your boundaries are. Try to be adventurous; don’t stick to the same boring routine, but try spicing things up by wearing sexy lingerie, playing adult games, trying different positions or locations. There are many more things you need to know to keep your marriage happy.

Divorce and Children: Things To Consider When You’re Staying Married Only For Your Children

All children are different and respond differently to divorce. Depending on the characteristics of the children – age, emotional maturity, happiness, resiliency to trauma – the easier or more difficult it will be for children to weather a divorce.
As a parent, you should know your children better than anyone…use your best judgment with your children during considering divorce. This “divorce and children” article is for parents who are certain that they would get a divorce if they didn’t have children and want to decide what to think about regarding the effects a divorce would have on their children.
Children of divorced parents can actually live wonderful lives as long as the parents use proper judgment and create the right types of interactions between themselves and with each other.
This article on this web page does not suggest that divorce is the correct course of action for you and it in no way should be taken as a form of counseling to you. This article is merely to spark you to think logically and then make your own decision about divorce and your children.
As previously stated, every child is different and subsequently, every child responds to divorce in a different way.
If you think there’s a definitive answer about how divorce affects children, you are mistaken. There’s been hundreds of books written about this subject and a plethora of studies done regarding divorce and children, all citing differing opinions and using different statistical constraints and inputs. But, statistics can only go so far…if you know your children better than anyone else, you will know best how they’ll be affected by a divorce.
How divorce affects children and what you should do if you’re staying married solely because you have children is complicated issue.
Here’s some things you may want to consider if you’re a parent who is staying married just because you have children:
Children and divorce consideration 1: Make sure that you are, in fact, only staying married just because you have children.
Often times people use the children as an excuse not to get a divorce because they aren’t really sure that they want a divorce or have some other fear regarding divorce. Those fears can be present due to finance, self-confidence, living arrangements, or other personal issues.
Before you really take the next steps in deciding whether or not to get a divorce because of your children, rank your reasons for divorce and make sure that you’re really certain you’d get a divorce if you didn’t have children.
Children and divorce consideration 2: Make sure ‘guilt’ isn’t the real reason that you aren’t getting a divorce.
The ‘guilt’ referenced above is the guilt brought on by thinking that your divorce will hurt your children. In and of itself, this feeling of guilt is a selfish one if you haven’t really examined carefully if a divorce will have an adverse effect on your children. If you aren’t getting divorced because of guilt in this regard, but you still have an unhappy marriage that is affecting your children, then you aren’t really staying married for them, you’re staying married for you because you feel guilty…this is selfish.
Children and divorce consideration 3: Once you’ve clearly defined that you are in fact, not getting a divorce solely because you have children, examine why you think divorce will adversely affect your children.
Remember, divorce can have a negative effect on children initially, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that a divorce will be a negative influence on your children forever.
Decide whether or not your children have the resiliency, the intelligence, the emotional health, and the support they’d need to mitigate the adverse effects that a divorce would have on them. Will they be happy after the initial shock of the divorce is worked through?
Children and divorce consideration 4: Once you’ve really defined what you believe to be negative effects on your children due to divorce, think about what your children’s life will be like in the immediate and distant future if you do actually go through with the divorce.
Ask yourself, “Can I create and maintain a healthy environment for my children if I do get a divorce?”
One thing that is a critical factor in this decision is the feasibility of you and your spouse getting a divorce amicably. If you and your spouse can go through a divorce amicably, and you both can agree to always put your children’s welfare above your own, you will be one step ahead.
Again, make sure you are certain a divorce is necessary to create the right type of environment for your children. Assure that there is absolutely no way you can rekindle your marriage.
Usually, divorce represents the first real trauma of a child’s life. Keep this in mind when your making your divorce decision.
Divorce is a serious step and nothing should be done until your’re certain that divorce is the best course of action. Getting a divorce without making sure that divorce is the right thing is selfish on your part and is the wrong thing to do to your children…after all, they deserve your best effort!
One thing should remain constant…that you and your spouse will always be there for your children, no matter what.