5 Tips To Save Your Marriage and Stop Divorce After an Affair

Want to save your marriage and stop divorce? Is it easier said than done? Well, it may feel like that if your marriage has gone through an affair. An affair can shatter a marriage right to the very core in many ways, including destroying the trust. After the trust is gone divorce may be one of the only clear options that you have. But if you really want to make the marriage work, and you are willing to take the action required to fix it then divorce doesn’t have to be the only option, or even an option at all.
Even though it seems impossible, a lot of couples end up rebuilding their trust and moving on to a better and happier marriage after an affair. This may be because the affair has alerted them to the problems in their marriage and allowed them to really see how bad it has gotten, and given them a chance to make things better. If you look at the affair as a wake-up call then you may be able to save your marriage as well.
5 Tips to Help Save Your Marriage After an Affair
1. If you are the one who cheated then you have to take responsibility for your actions if you want to save your marriage. You can’t go around blaming your partner or the person you had an affair with, and you can’t make excuses for the affair. If you ever want to rebuild the trust then you have to admit that you screwed up big time and that you are the only one to blame for it.
2. If you want to save your marriage then you have to communicate with your partner in a way that allows them to feel better. This means answering their questions honestly – no matter how hard they are to answer. If you act shady in any way by trying to withhold information or embellish the story then your partner will sense it and quickly start to lose even more trust in you. But if you are straightforward and honest with your partner then you have a better chance to save your marriage and stop divorce, which is what you want!
3. You have to admit the relationship problems that helped lead you to an affair if you want to save your marriage AND have a better marriage. This doesn’t mean that you blame your partner or make excuses, but it does mean that you admit the issues you have been having in the relationship and show desire to fix them. It may be hard to tell your partner what you are not happy with because you don’t want to hurt them anymore than you have, but it’s essential to be honest and share your concerns if you want to save your marriage. You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.
4. Make sure you actions match your words if you want to rebuild the trust in your marriage. Actions speak louder than words, so don’t say you are not interested in other people and then flirt with someone who you find attractive. If your partner see’s any sign of you being dishonest then you may give them a reason to give up on the marriage and pursue a divorce.
5. Do what you say you will and say what you do. In other words, follow through on your promises no matter how small they are. With the marriage in the tender state it’s in, even a small promise broken can cause whatever trust has been built back to be lost again. This could be over something as mundane as not taking out the garbage when you said you would. Any sign that you are lying will set off your partner’s alarm and possibly ruin your chances to save your marriage, so make sure that you always follow through with your promises.
Remember these 5 tips when trying to save your marriage and stop divorce after you’ve had an affair and you will find that rebuilding trust will slowly start to happen in the marriage. It may take a long time to fully get the trust back, but if you really want to save your marriage then the effort you put in will be worth it!

ABC’s of a Happy Marriage

ABC’s of a Happy Marriage
By Barbara Eubanks
Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage, once quipped Ambrose Bierce. If love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage, why do so may end in divorce? Even some couples who stay together seem to do nothing but make each other miserable. This was emphasized when a pastor friend rushed to the hospital to minister to a lady who had been admitted for emergency surgery. Knowing her husband was away on a business trip, the concerned pastor offered to track him down to inform him of his wife’s medical crisis.
Oh, no, Pastor. Please don’t do that. I look forward to spending at least one peaceful night in the hospital without him.
Although the pastor was dismayed and somewhat amused by her unusual response, he realized she had stayed in a marriage unhappily for forty years.
Falling in love, having a big wedding, going on an exotic honeymoon may all seem glamorous, but the reality is a good marriage takes work and constant commitment. The end result of unhappiness in marriage doesn’t necessarily have to be divorce. With effort, that unhappiness can be transformed into joy. If people put the energy into keeping their mates as they do in getting them, the divorce rate would drop drastically.
As Steve and I prepared to facilitate a marriage retreat, we came up with the ABC’s of marriage which have worked for us for over fifty years. Perhaps if you implement them, you will discover a renewed happiness and romance.
Affirm daily.
Bury forgiven offenses.
Care for one another in sickness and in health.
Do unto each other as you would have the other do unto you.
Encourage each other in his/her endeavors.
Face each day with a prayer and a smile.
Give generously.
Help with daily tasks (cheerfully).
Ignore minor offenses.
Join hands and hearts in making a happy home.
Keep working at it.
Love with all your heart – agape, philos, eros.
Marriage is a covenant made before God; it’s forever. Remember that daily.
Never let the sun go down upon your wrath.
Open heart and home to God.
Play and pray together.
Quit complaining.
Respect each other, both privately and publicly.
Seek to please rather than to be pleased.
Trust God and each other.
Until the twelfth of never, keep loving.
Value each other.
Worship together
X-out negativity.
Yield not to temptation.
Zealously strive to honor God in your marriage.