Why Divorce is a Bad Idea
The law may not grant you divorce because you have stopped whispering sweet nothings to each other for ever, but does allow you to part if you cannot come to a commonality of decision on most matters and want to split over it.
Grounds of Divorce
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Under the existing laws of the land, a divorce in the UK can be granted on one of the following grounds.
* Adultery – If a partner has been unfaithful to the relation and the other partner resents that, a divorce may be granted on grounds of infidelity. Adulterous relations are still the major cause of break ups in the UK, and the love triangle is not acceptable to most people.
* Unreasonable Behaviour – What would constitute ‘unreasonable’? The answer varies widely and wildly. It could be a case of a brutally abusive marriage where divorce would be a blessing, and it could be centred around a disagreement over snoring in bed. But it has to be severe enough to be acceptable by law as a reason for a decision as final as divorce.
* Abandonment – This is difficult to prove as one has to conclusively show that there has been no contact (and this includes phone calls, mails, IM chats, or visits) between the partners over a specific time span.
* Two Years or Five Years Separation with Consent – This is the usual way out sought in amicable divorces. It means that the two people concerned just cannot stand to live with each other anymore, and have agreed on that count, and have stopped living together as partners voluntarily out of common consent. This is rapidly gaining popularity as a way to part in the UK, as it is most economical, fast and hassle free.
What It Entails – Legally and Financially
In the eyes of the law, the two of you had been treated as a kind of joint entity in all financial and legal aspects on your marriage, and on divorce you would be separate entities again, except in a few matters pertaining to inheritance. In plainer terms, it means that you have to make separate provisions for yourselves when it comes to bank accounts, property, movable assets, gifts, shares and investments, inherited property, and all other forms of economic dealings that concerned any one of you. You will have to rewrite your will if you had a pre existing one, and if you didn’t, it is strongly suggested that you make a new one now, stating clearly what you want. You will have to update it in case your decision, situation, or living status (with or without next partner) changes. And no, there are no ways of bypassing the mountains of paperwork that you would have to do to get it all right.
What It Means for Children
You have to decide now as to what kind of custody you want – single or joint – and then if you agree upon it, you have to convince the court about it, otherwise you have to fight it out. Meanwhile, your divorce procedure would drag on and on, and needless to say, your children would be affected in every sphere of their lives. At the end of all the negotiations in and out of court, you may both be stuck in a situation that calls for compromise on your part, and makes your children sorely disappointed with you for the rest of their lives.
Emotionally and Socially
You have to give time to your divorce. And that time will be taken out of your normal working schedule. In other words, your career will suffer a blow. You will have to put up with the pain of having your life, as you knew it, fall to pieces. And then when you try to rebuild, you will have to face the anger and bitterness from your children. You would not really want to trust in the concept of love again in a long time. And all the while, you will be paying the money needed to make your life more miserable.
Would you still want to divorce? If so, then it had better be for reasons that are strong enough to combat every moment of doubt and self pity as you walk this thorny road.