What to Do When Your Wife Wants to Leave You – 5 Tips
When you find out that your wife wants to leave you, it may catch you off guard a bit. You may be thinking to yourself, “Sure, I knew we had some problems, but I didn’t know things had gotten this bad.” If you were surprised by what she told you, you are not alone: most men do not realize their wife is planning to leave them until it is too late.
Of course, problems in any relationship are a two-way street. There may be plenty of things about your relationship that are hard for you to take, as well; it is very unlikely that you are totally satisfied with the relationship at the same time that your wife wants out.
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Still, you probably are not having as many issues – or as deep of an issue – in the relationship as your wife does. If you were, you may have already been thinking the same thing: that you want out.
And yet, here you are, still in the relationship and wanting it to continue while your wife wants to leave you. This can be a powerless feeling. It can be hard to know how to act or react. After all, if she has made up her mind, what influence do you really have over the situation? The answer: more than you may think.
If you are wondering what to do when you wife wants to leave you, here are 5 tips for what to do:
1. Be honest with yourself about what you really want for the relationship:
Remember, your wife – this very same woman who now wants to leave you – at one point in time thought you were the bee’s knees – the best-possible person in the world for her. And, at some level, she very well may still feel the same way. Unfortunately, however, over time she has built up a series of issues inside of her which did not get resolved. Now, she feels she needs to leave.
But, before you pursue the path of trying to keep her in your life, you should remind yourself that you should be careful what you wish for. More specifically: when a spouse tells you they are leaving, the most common knee-jerk reaction is to say and feel, “Don’t go! Don’t leave me!” But, just make sure that, before reading on below, you really believe that staying together is the best thing for both of you.
2. Ask her to share her feelings about why she wants to leave:
Next, ask her to open up a bit about her feelings. No doubt that your recent interactions with each other have been difficult – maybe even full of fighting, some harsh words, tears, or all of the above. But, it is time to put all of the drama on the back burner and to ask her a simple question: “What are you feeling about us?” And, just let her talk while you hear her out.
3. Find out her intended timing for leaving:
Next, it is time to get the facts straight. Find out when she plans to leave and where she plans to go (if she has even thought things through that far).
4. Get her to commit to clearly communicating her feelings with you from here on out:
Ask your wife to work with you to avoid blaming each other and to avoid the drama. Moving forward, just ask that she keep in honest and open communication with you about what she is up to. And, promise her you will do the same.
5. Find out if she is willing to commit to taking a different approach to fixing your marriage:
It is apparent that neither you nor your wife know for sure at this point whether you can even save your marriage. Still, if both of you do have at least some love left for each other, ask her if she is willing to commit the next 8-12 weeks of her life to trying something new to save your marriage. Agreement here is key: you can’t do it alone.
Consider these 5 tips as you figure out what to do when your wife wants to leave your marriage.