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The Things Single Moms Need and Miss Out On

The Things Single Moms Need and Miss Out On

The vacations in Hawaii, visiting Disney, big houses, or expensive cars aren’t really the things single moms need and miss out on. Yeah, they would be nice, but there are more important things…small things…we want and don’t realize we don’t get until it is right at that exact moment in time.

My son, B, turned two this past week, and we celebrated his birthday party with family. I spent the day before and the day off preparing for the party, making sure everything was lined up and organized. Everyone arrived on time, and we started the games.

After the games, we created our own homemade French bread pizzas. I read a variety of different ways to make them online, and chose the one I thought sounded and looked the most scrumptious. For each bread, I pressed on with a cookie sheet (so the edges wouldn’t curl up) and bake for a few minutes before the toppings were added so the sauce wouldn’t soak into the bread and make it soggy. Then I kept an eye on the pizzas cooking so they wouldn’t overcook. I didn’t realize when I planned this activity how much time and focus it would take of me.

I was the last one to make and cook her pizza. By the time I got mine, everyone else was finished. I put my pizza down to clean B up, and when I went back to it, someone had thrown it away. Then, I put candles on the cake and as I walked to B, asked if someone would take his picture, the first one of the night. Since we had pushed the kitchen table to the corner for a game, I knelt on my knees to B for him to blow them out. I made the specialty cake slices (cake, ice cream, cake, hot fudge, and whip cream) for everyone and soon after I got mine, they were ready to open gifts.

As I tried to take my first picture of B of the night, opening presents, he stood there watching his two same aged cousins opening his gifts. I said, “B open it.” He stood there staring until his Aunt told her I daughter to let B do it.

Then I asked someone to take a picture of B and me, and my mom suggested it become a nieces, nephew, B, and me picture, which is great, but then I never got a single picture of B and me. After everyone left, I was exhausted. I was drained. I was tried and didn’t even really get to enjoy the party. I was going, going, going, doing, doing, doing. I sat down for two minutes once when B and I ate cake together, which was the most precious moment to me.

Whether it’s a party, a sporting event, or a holiday, take time to really enjoy it. These are the things single moms need and miss out on. It’s not the giant, big, spectacular things, even though those would be great too, but it’s the small, intimate times.

We miss enjoying it. We miss taking pictures or being in the pictures with our kids. We miss those unforgettable moments. We don’t have someone else saying, “How can I help you,” or offering to take a picture. We must remember that plus everything else we are doing.

Give yourself permission to enjoy the moments. You can clean, do dishes, or reorganize the place later. Let go of the control freak in you. Let Ms. Perfectionist leave for the day. Relax, laugh, spend time with your kids, and have fun. After all, isn’t that what life is about anyways?!