Real Marriage Secrets – The In-Law Intrusion Solution
One major problem in marriages across the United States is the in-law intrusion. What this means is somewhere between the time their child was living at home and after the moment he/she said ‘I do.’ to their new spouse, the parents never gained the understanding that their child now has a new life, a new family, a new responsibility.
The parents never grasped the fact that their role is now different than it was before their child’s marriage. That sounds like a no-brainer statement. But it still causes more problems in families across the country. If you have this problem or know someone who does, there are many real marriage secrets that can help you do something about it.
Below are three of the most effective real marriage secrets solutions to the in-law intrusion.
Real Marriage Secret #1: Move
This may sound extremely drastic. But if it is causing enough stress in your marriage that you have searched for a solution, it may be an option. If you are a newlywed couple, it may be even more feasible for you. Also if you are a newlywed and are experiencing the in-law intrusion already, don’t think it will get better with time. Chances are it will get much worse.
Real Marriage Secret#2: Write a Letter
As gently as possible, you and your spouse should write a letter together expressing your concerns. This is a very touchy solution. That means you have to be very careful how you word the way you write. List specific areas where yhe intrusion is taking place. Be sure to make sure the intruding parents understand you DO want them in your life. They just need to know their boundaries.
Real Marriage Secret #3: Face To Face
Sometimes, no matter how diplomatic a letter is, people will be offended. If your parents or in-laws are these type of people, then you’ll want to defuse that situation before it ever happens. The only way to do this is to meet with them one on one. One on one, in this case, means you and your spouse meeting with the intruding in-laws. This can be over dinner, an outing or anything that is a non-threatening atmosphere for them. If you really have melodramatic intruding in-laws, it may be best to choose a very public place to cut down on the chance of an outburst of epic proportions.
Remember, the goal in any of these Real Marriage Secrets is not to embarrass, upset or even ridicule anyone. The only purpose for any of these solutions is to help your intruding in-laws understand what their boundaries are.
It may take a while for them to understand what those boundaries are, but give them a little time to come to grips with their new role. They may, eventually, realize that they still have a life too. Encourage them to get involved with a hobby that they can find and renew their relationship with each other.
If they do, there will come a time that the may thank you for stepping in when they were stepping on your new family’s toes.